Pop Tarts. Yes, I said pop tarts. Chocolate fudge pop tarts more specifically.
I’m an emotional eater. I eat when I’m happy, sad, anxious, or any other emotion I’m not sure how to handle. My weight loss battle began when I was thirteen, and I, like many others, have fought the food battle.
Almost five years ago I lost 85 lbs. and have kept it off. However, now that I’m momentarily unemployed and home, the bad behavior is sneaking in. It’s easy staying in denial about those extra pounds wearing shorts and sweats all the time. I tell myself, as I’m eating pop tarts in my car and my family can’t see me, that I’ll start tomorrow. At times, I’ll eat the pop tarts in front of them dealing with the jokes of my addiction, frowns or “Mom, your butt is getting big.” I smile and stuff the feelings of worthlessness down with another bite. Then, the next day, I step on the scale and my emotions plunge. Why am I doing this to myself?
I could pick apart a million reasons why, but I won’t. So, before my weight spins out of control I’m going back to what I know works. My battle begins in my mind. If I stay mentally busy I don’t have time to think about pop tarts, ice cream and chocolate. I change food commercials. Once I see them, the seed’s planted, and I’m off thinking about what food will make me feel better. I’m wearing my jeans every day. They are tight and remind me of my goal. I don’t like being uncomfortable. I’m going to make a plan to leave the house and get some exercise. I need to think of a reward once I reach my goal. Normally, that’s a purse and I have my eye on a beautiful leather Tory Burch bag, but I can’t justify that being unemployed. I have to find another reward.
So, those are a few plans that I have. If you have also struggled with this, I’d love to hear what helps you. More than anything I just don’t feel good about myself. That is something in my life that I can change.
Until Next Time…