I’m straying from my normal post today. On Monday, July 30th I’m celebrating my 7 year anniversary. If someone had told me years ago that I’d meet the man of my dreams, I would have laughed in their face, but I did meet him.
Let me share a bit of my story. I’m like everyone else, and have experienced the ups and downs of life and relationships.
In 1998, I took my 2 small children, loaded them in a U-haul, and made a trek with a friend, 2000 miles away from everything I’d ever known. Why? Because in 1995, I’d married a monster. He verbally, mentally and physically abused my children and myself. I wasn’t allowed to leave the house unescorted. If I had a phone call, he’d jerk the phone out of the wall. He sold my children’s toys for drug money, he couldn’t keep a job, yet this was all my fault, and I went to extremes to keep him happy.
One evening, he snapped. My son was five at the time, and when my now ex husband almost broke my son’s hand, I jumped out of my chair and yelled at him. I knew what the consequences would be. I thought. I sent my son to his bedroom, knowing he would be safe for a moment as my ex husband’s anger turned towards me. He screamed and yelled, while searching for the gun. He threatened to kill me and the kids. He promised that if I ever left, he’d hunt me down and kill us. I believed him.
That night was my breaking point. I’d lived with this for three years. Any time I question if God is real, or if he is still there, I remember his protection and moving us to safety. The entire time my ex-husband was ranting and searching for the gun, I had a quiet peace inside me. I know God was there.
My ex never found the gun, and the next morning, by a miracle, I had permission to drive myself to work, and the kids to daycare without him. It was the first time in months I left the house without him.
I didn’t go back. We ran, and hid for three years. And he did hold true to his promise, he called and tormented my friends, threatened them, and used any means to find us. He never did.
After some time, I continued to find myself in abusive relationships. They weren’t as extreme, but I continued to go through hell and drag my poor kids with me. I remember sitting on the patio, my heart-broken, and I made up my mind, at that moment, that I refused to participate in another relationship that wasn’t good for us. Period. I’d been a single mom for 8 years already, and if it meant I was a single mom the rest of my life, so be it. I decided I was finished with crap relationships.
That was the moment that my life changed. When I stopped searching for someone to save me, to make me feel better about myself, to support us, that’s when God moved.
I met my husband a few months later. The first thing I noticed about him was his inner strength, and wow did he have a story behind him. I had an immediate respect for him. As we began talking a few times a week, I shared my experience with him,and he never blinked. It didn’t matter to him. He was just glad that we were safe.
Not long after, we married, and seven years later, I’d do it all again. For the first time in our lives, my kids and I were treated well. My children had several years to experience how they should treat a woman, and be treated by a man. My husband is an honorable man. When he gives his word, he means it. He cooks, cleans, shares all the household duties with me, takes the kids where they need to go and anything else we need to get done. I have a partner. And not one time, not once in seven years, has my husband ever spoken a mean word to me, not even when we’re irritated at each other. He tells me I’m beautiful, he encourages me in everything I do, and truly loves me unconditionally. When I’d hoped for a good man in our lives, I never dreamed I’d get more than I’d asked for.
So, to my husband…I love you with all my heart. You are my rock, my safety and my strength. You have given me the best seven years of my life. Thank you for choosing me and loving me. Happy Anniversary.
Until Next Time…